My beloved says he's going to start a blog called the Anti Blog. Its purpose, he says, will be to refute all the crap I put out there.
In other news, I called Cade, this evening. His first day of 6th grade went well. His carry-over love interest from 5th grade is in his homeroom. Having been sworn to secrecy, I can't tell you who she is, but I approve, just as I approved of the love interest before her.
Also, Cade's teacher didn't notice the missing sanitizing wipes. I bought some, anyway.
I've been watching other moms post on facebook about how many forms they have to fill out and return to school. I've been muahaha-ing that it's my ex-husband's job to fill out forms, this year.
Clementine had a total meltdown at Staples, this evening, over a bubblegum-flavored lollipop. When I refused to buy it for her, she screamed and beat me about the head. For all the talk of pencil stabbings and such, I'll have you know: I remained completely calm throughout the entire episode.
Proof that I've matured, because I remember distinctly having less control years ago, when Cade was the one beating me about the head.
8 years of regret will do that to a mama.
Clementine melted down to such an extent that a woman in the Staples parking lot felt sorry for me. She walked over to the minivan and said: "Oh, my. I've been there. She's just very tired, isn't she?"
"She's angry," I explained, "because I didn't buy her a bubblegum-flavored lollipop."
"She's exhausted," she said, "but very pretty. There's nothing you can do, right now, to make things better. But she'll be grown before you know it."
Later, in Wal-Mart, Charleigh Evangeline started kissing properly: i.e., adding little smacks to the end of her opened-mouth attacks on my face. These are the moments that make it all worth it.
But I suspect Miss Charleigh will be less enamoured of me, tomorrow, after I've held her hands for the nurse to give her those one-year immunizations.