Tuesday, April 28, 2015

To Clementine at Six

Oh My Darlin',

My head spins a little when I consider the last year of your life. You got your ears pierced and hair cut. You lost your first four teeth. You learned to read and completed kindergarten math. You asked Jesus into your heart. You were baptized.

And I don't always know what I'm doing; in fact, I'm very often at a loss. You're so different from your older brother that I tend to feel like a first-time parent, parenting you. I've been guilty of fretting, and I've done a fair amount of asking God to help me be the mother you need.

The most important thing I can write down for you today, when you're six, also against the day that you will be a mommy, yourself, is this: God loves you so much. He has been for and with us, behind and ahead of us, too. At every point, He has made our path clear. He has answered in detail every question and provided for us at a level very hard to explain.

He called me to be your teacher and hand-selected each of our resources. I bought our book of Bible stories for a quarter the day before we started kindergarten. I found your Bible for one penny plus shipping. One friend gifted us our entire math program; another wrote the devotions we were reading the night you asked me, crying, how to pray Jesus into your heart. I found two books I'd sought (sometimes quite actively) for thirty years, since losing them in my own childhood.

You mentioned you wanted a piano, and within weeks, a piano became available for free. You asked for a dog, and I gave you a hard no, but within two days, a dog--the right dog--made her way to us.

And perhaps most importantly, the Lord is actively addressing my weaknesses as a teacher (mommy, person). He has opened my eyes, and He has sent helpers.

I can't imagine trying to live this life without Him, and I'm thankful for His promise to both of us, Clementine, as His children: nothing--not tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, peril, sword, death, life, angels, principalities, powers, things present, things to come, height, depth, nor any other creature--can separate us from the love of God, which is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen, Honey. Amen.

I love you so much,