I'm a Mess, Pt. 1

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I want to share with you some new truths I've grasped over these last couple months of being broken emotionally and physically in all new ways. I offer praise, right now, to God for my community and family of believers. It's very large, and I believe He's given it to me because I'm a perpetual mess, and I need it.

I want to interrupt myself, now, to encourage and remind you: you can and should absolutely make careful decisions about whom you allow to speak into your life, especially when you're broken. If the voice doesn't encourage or help you, don't invite it in by picking up the phone, turning on the radio or tv, or opening the book or laptop for it. Don't hate; just shut it down. If it's misguided...lily-livered...less than Christ-centered...or even, simply, not what feeds your spirit: shut. it. down.

Going into this time, I'd been shored up in scripture because God had called me, last fall, to start preparing lessons for a topical women's Sunday school class on emotions, specifically: fear, joy, trust, and hope. Again, I praise Him, because the time I've spent in God's Word has benefited me, almost certainly, more than anyone else in the class.

Even so, I couldn't seem to reach a point of peace, especially over my brother's very critical illness. I read God's Word, prayed my heart out, and asked others to pray with me; still, I felt sick in my spirit. I begged God to help me let go, but I just couldn't.

I believe, now: the reason I couldn't let go was because I had work to do. The first thing I've learned, then, is--in times of distress--to make my first prayer: What would you have me do? before asking God to grant peace. Because, most recently, I could experience peace only in doing what God wanted me to do.

(To be continued...)

Sharing with Shanda and friends for "On Your Heart Tuesdays."