Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Clementine and the Elusive Stinky

There are well over a thousand reasons why fairy tales end before princesses have kids.
(Also short haircuts, spectacles, and extra poundage. But mostly kids.)

For example.

1. Kids are messy eaters. They don't give a care where they are.

2. Kids are apt to announce loudly: "Mom! I gotta make a stinky!"
Again, they don't give a care where they are.

3. A kid is liable to sit on a restaurant's potty for 20 minutes
(singing a made-up "stinky song" all the while) and never produce a stinky.
Whilst her mom's seafood dinner grows cold and rubbery.

4. Packing for kids ain't no joke.
diapers and wipes; playpen, cot, sheets, and blankets; extra clothes; snacks and sippy cups;
special soap, shampoo, and lotion; and hotel-room entertainment*

5. A kid very often ends up sleeping somewhere
other than the where her mom packed for her.

6. In the entire museum, it may just be that
(despite her mom's best efforts to read and learn)
a kid would rather run up and down a ramp than anything else.

7. A kid is apt to demand a phone call to Mamaw anytime, anywhere.
Even if the phone doesn't work.

8. A kid may well insist upon releasing a cardboard bunny.
Or eating its straw.

9. A kid may require a third trip into the same store
because the elusive stinky is coming "RIGHT NOW!"

There are well over a thousand reasons why fairy tales end before princesses have kids.

But it's ok.

All those reasons
 fall under the umbrella
 of "happily ever after."

*Both of the above "hotel-room entertainment" ideas came from Pinterest, although I learned of the glow sticks idea directly from JoAnn, who mentioned it on her blog Ostriches Look Funny. If you've never read her words, you should make it a priority. She's very funny and, more importantly, very real. I trust her to help me maintain a healthy perspective, also to pray for me, and I love her.

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