Friday, February 1, 2013

On Seeing


Jim surprised me when he bought me, for Christmas, a much nicer camera. We had discussed my getting one, but later: you know, when I don't have two (destructive!) toddlers and an infant and, therefore, more children needing a hand than hands. When I don't break tons of things, myself, out of exhausted carelessness.

It took a couple weeks for me to get up enough nerve to pull my new camera out of the box. I used only a prime lens (on automatic focus) for a couple more.

Saturday, though, the three little ones all went down for a nap at the same time. Jim and Mom were here, so I asked Dad to walk with me. I took my camera and all my lenses, and I practiced--for the first time in my life, really--taking photos of things, not people. I had so much fun that, nap-time Sunday, I scurried straightaway out into the yard with my camera. This time, I was alone.

So many of you grasp the mysteries of a camera with interchangeable lenses; I'd never even tried to understand my point-and-click. Don't laugh, but I felt very brave in switching from automatic to manual focus on a zoom lens.

It was cold outside, and a few small patches of snow remained on the ground. And it's a little embarrassing, really, but--before I knew it--my jeans were wet from kneeling. I just couldn't get over the fact that I could make myself and my camera as still as possible and see such wildly different things through the lens.
The view changed drastically as I zoomed, but I was even more fascinated in playing with the focus. I realized that--even after I'd decided where I was going to look, and from what distance--I could change my focal point. I could capture countless different images within the same view-finding rectangle, even making details appear and disappear at will!


I realized: as much fun as I thought I'd had with my point-and-click, I'd been giving the camera most of the control. I could almost hear my new camera whisper-ask: "What do you want me to see?" And--as I answered silently with my hands, in just the few ways I know--I experienced more of a creative high than I had in a long time.

And then it came upon me in an epiphanous rush: there are so many more variables to what is than I'm capable of fathoming. In one sense, my human eye (being part of my human body), sees only what little is in front of it. In another sense, my human eye struggles in focusing in on one detail among all those it can see. Hard to explain, but my human eye sees both too little and too much.

Perhaps this is why Paul writes of our seeing through a glass, darkly (I Corinthians 13:12).

I look out of my human eye, this morning, and whisper-ask of God: What do you want me to see? Show me, Lord.


19 comments:

  1. One of the phrases that jumps out at me while reading this "I could change my focal point." It honestly echoes in my head right now. There are so many times when I need to just do that.

    (Thank you for all your kind words the other day - both on my blog and on your post at Emily's. It was an incredible encouragement.)

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    1. Me, too, w/ the focal point! I'd never quite gotten it before I had that camera in my hands. I'm thinking of a quote I read, recently, from Keats: "Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced - even a proverb is not a proverb till your life has illustrated it."

      As to the rest, you encouraged me, too, and made me feel glad for being bold enough to write what I did.

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  2. Looks like you mastered that learning curve in a hurry. Great photos. Curious as to which camera and lenses you have.

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    1. The camera is a Canon Rebel T3i. The lenses are EFS 18-55 mm, Zoom EF 75-300mm, and 50mm. I wish we lived closer so you could help me figure it all out!

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    2. I've been using point and shoots so eager to hear more about your experience.

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    3. I'm honestly, truly shocked. I figured you had the mac daddy of all cameras. What talent you have!

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  3. These are so beautiful Brandee! Love your perspective too. Can't wait to squeeze ya tomorrow.

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  4. Wow, really beautiful photos. I'm so glad that your husband got you that camera! And I'm assuming from the photos that nothing was broken, right? :)

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    1. So far, so good with the camera. I did break my laptop screen about a week ago.

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  5. what cracks me up when I got my camera it took days to get the nerve to get it out of the box too. It was like this sacred item that I had been saving for forever and it wasn't to be tampered with!! Ha! My son gave me the nerve when he stared getting his pocket knife out to cut open the box as I was biting my finger with a cringed face.....the baby came out and it was beautiful. haha! Congrats, and the picture are awesome so far.

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  6. oh my gosh, and I just read what you got...I got the same one, I LOVE IT, LOVE IT!!! Yahhhhhh, so excited for you!

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  7. great pictures! AND well, I don't know what to say. As usual, I want to just write "sigh" because you have this awesome way of giving so much in you prose that I can chew on it for hours. I love your writing and how it still does work in my head and heart long after I've finished reading. There's so much going on here...my mommy heart is excited for the time alone you wrote about, and I appreciate the quiet in your photographs. I love the simple mysteries you point out that are not at all simple because of their magnificent Creator.

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    1. Thank you, Jamie. What a wonderful encouragement you are to me.

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  8. Brandee, this part, especially, I loved:
    And then it came upon me in an epiphanous rush: there are so many more variables to what is than I'm capable of fathoming. In one sense, my human eye (being part of my human body), sees only what little is in front of it. In another sense, my human eye struggles in focusing in on one detail among all those it can see.
    I love your question through this metaphor: God, what do you want me to see?
    And, too, I've got to say. I love your honesty and vulnerability about your process. There's so much I long to learn about taking photos (my mom is a pro), and you sharing your journey gives me permission somehow.

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  9. So many things I wish I'd made a point of learning from my mother, especially b/c she's a deeply patient teacher...

    Thanks so much for coming by...

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  10. Brandee, found you over at The Scooper's site! I can so empathize with the day you just described. I just changed out of PJ's that were too many days old. I've actually gotten something accomplished today. Swept floors, mopped and now I'm staring at a mound of laundry. I also need to get together some stuff for a class Friday night!
    I like your blog and am glad I found you!
    You can see me blogging through life at www.raisingthreeknightsandaprincess.com
    Blessings,
    Julie

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  11. I can relate ... my husband gave me a better camera for Christmas several years ago. It took me a couple of months to use actually use it! I was kind of afraid of it, but once I began to there was no looking back. Someday I hope to get a new and fancier one, but this one is still working great.

    I like how you focused on the different variables and interpretations on what we see in our world.

    I am your newest follower, and I found you through Pamela's blog.

    Kathy M.

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