I have been trying to determine why this thing happened, and I have no idea why or even who. (Was God messing with me? If so, why? Was God allowing the enemy to mess with me? If so, why? Were both God and the enemy completely uninvolved; was it just a human thing? If so, where was God?)
Maybe I'll never know. "Why?" is such a pitiful little, rarely-answered question.
"What am I supposed to be learning?" is better; I can rarely answer it, either, but I can usually come up with something.
In this case, I can come up with a few things. Firstly (and I hesitate to write this for fear of further testing), I might not be able to control what happens to me, but I can control how I respond to it. You're probably reading this, thinking DUH, but I'm a hot-tempered mama; for me, that's huge.
I turned pretty quickly to the Word, this time, which led of course to learning of a concrete nature. I got into a study of keys and started examining parallels between Eliakim son of Hilkiah, Peter, and Christ: so interesting. And I'm still working out what I think will be an especially valuable lesson on prophecy.
And then there's this: I need Him. I can't do anything without Him. I can't even do His own work without Him. I need Him.
The chaotic moments I describe for you? They're my norm. Seriously. My days tend to be more like that than otherwise. I'm a deeply unorganized, unstructured person with a short fuse. I've got a man who thinks differently than I and may well be even more passionate than I. I've got joint custody of a deeply unorganized (apple doesn't fall far from the tree) thirteen-year-old. I spend nearly every moment with a busy, destructive, sassy four-year-old; a rowdy, defiant (tease of a daredevil) two-year-old; and a clingy five-month-old. We live in a log cabin just old enough that all major systems are starting to go. It's crazy town.
I need Him. I need Him. I need Him. I need Him. I need Him, times infinity. I wouldn't want to do it without Him. I need Him.
Amen! Blessed to also need Him!!
ReplyDeleteI think I'm mixed up on which of your girls is the four year old. Regardless, I just love all four of your kids names so much. And I'm so glad you found your keys.
ReplyDeleteI need Him, times infinity too. Once you get Him figured out, will you ask Him why, in the last two weeks, we owed taxes, needed new tires, had to renew license tags on two cars, had $1000 of repairs on a car with only 70,000 miles, the dryer quit and now the dishwasher is making noises that sound horrific. I'm just curious why it. all. happens. at. once.
Clementine is 4, Elizabeth, and Charleigh is 2. :) They're both pretty spunky and would make good companions for your grandgirl. So sorry for all these troubles.
DeleteGlad you found the keys!!! My parents and sister just had a similar fiasco with a device charger, but no one's laughing yet.
ReplyDeleteThat "I need Him" lesson is pretty much essential and unfortunately pretty easily forgotten by most of us. Or is that just me? :)
Sounds like a good small group you have, too.
Hang in there! You're a great friend to persevere through lost keys & mayhem to bring food to people you love.
(I read all three posts at once.)
Love,
c
I like how you express this "religion"...as relational.
ReplyDeleteI'm taking a bit of a hiatus from Olsonomics, but the poems will continue. Thanks for your constant steadfast support.
I need him too, friend. More than ever.
ReplyDeleteI need Him desperately. Love that the lost keys pulled you into a bible story. I seriously adore you. Why can't you live just down my street...
ReplyDeleteGlad you found the keys! I can't tell you the number of times I've prayed for God's help finding something misplaced...often keys.
ReplyDeleteI've concluded that many times God's involvement in life events has less to do with His causing events to happen (and/or failing to prevent them from happening) and more to do with how He works thru life's events to draw us into closer relationship with Himself, and to bring about His purpose in our lives.
I need him, I need him. Yes. Over and over we need to remind ourselves of that truth. And that beauty. I can rarely figure out "why" either, but the "what" afterwards does matter. Thanks for sharing your story.
ReplyDeletesmiles...it def takes discipline to stop and think through how we will react and not let our emotions take the moment of decision from us....
ReplyDeleteDear Brandee
ReplyDeleteOh, dear one, what can I say but just "such is life". On a lighter note, the kids do grow up and become more independent at some stage. Hang is there, this to has come to pass!
Blessings from Emiliy's
Mia
oh friend, me too. i've had a string of coming-apart-at-the-seams sort of days where i'm just one clawing canyon of need. and always, always, He is enough. i'm singing it, even in my unraveled mess.
ReplyDeleteYes, I need Him, I need Him, I need Him. He reminds of it constantly. But really, I don't ever want to think I've got it all figured out. That would lead to a total mess.
ReplyDeleteAmen:)
ReplyDeleteI need Him too! Glad you found your keys. But you know what, I'm glad you lost them too. . . only in that I enjoyed reading all this and all that came from it:)
ReplyDeleteOh, I need him so much. I can't imagine how anyone does this life without him. This is my favorite sentence in the piece. ""Why?" is such a pitiful little, rarely-answered question." Great story, great lessons. :)
ReplyDelete