(Jim's keys have been lost since Friday. They've probably been lost for a week longer, actually, but we noticed and started looking for them on Friday.)
So I felt stuck, today, because Jim had my vehicle. Also, Charleigh's been plucking my last nerve: just typical two-year-old stuff, but Grrrr! Not an hour after I gave her a bath, this morning, she drew all over her legs with a purple marker. Later, she rubbed sand in her hair and banged on the glass panes of the back door with a plastic baseball bat. She's sassy and defiant and, you know, two.
Doctor JoAnn and I talked, once, about how easy it can be to lose perspective as a stay-at-home mom. I felt it happening at different points, today. At the (literal) point of the purple marker, sure, but also when I took note of how much (let's just call it what it was) trash was on the living room carpet, which I'd just vacuumed, yesterday.
I practiced repeating the words JoAnn gave me: It's not real. They sort of helped. I forced myself to remember: my prayers have been answered. Baby Chip and Baby Aubrie are here; my brother's doing better; Faye's nodules disappeared. I considered how blessed I am to have a vehicle for my husband to use, a two-year-old to try her best to drive me to drinking, and a house for my children to trash. In my mind, I tried to relive our (dreamy) spring break.
I still yelled a little.
And, when Jim got home, I told him I needed a minute. Chip and I dropped Cade at Scouts and fled to Target, where I tried on four too-small items. It was still good medicine, and I missed Charleigh in about an hour. I think I'll recommend Target to Doctor JoAnn. Love her.