Thursday, March 8, 2012

If God Be for Us

I got a call from my doctor's office this afternoon, and it's a go. My numbers look good and four-weeks-pregnantish. They'll schedule my first ultrasound based upon the results of a third blood test (to be performed next week).

My due date's November 13th. Anyone else see the irony God wink?

Thank you all so much for praying. Tuesday was a little sketchy for me, but honestly: I've experienced so much peace the last two days, even before the phone call. I woke up smiling this morning, and trust me: that never happens.

Although we've never prevented pregnancy, we're surprised to have gotten pregnant again so quickly after the miscarriage. We're thankful. Jim will be 41 in September; I'll be 38 in April; and we know this baby will bring with him or her a sense of completion.

I don't understand, yet, why the winter had to be so long and hard. I don't know why the messed up Christmas, the miscarriage, my brother's illness. (There are other things, too, about which I can't write freely.) What I do know is: I invited the Lord into each of those situations, and He not only entered, but He entered profoundly.

I have experienced reconciliation. I have experienced healing in every respect. I have experienced my brother's physical healing, and I'm talking about the blind seeing and the lame walking. Literally. I have experienced victory over things that held me in bondage: resentment, pride, the Internet, sugar.

And listen: I know some of you are thinking it's easy for me to say these things because I've gotten my miracles. You're absolutely right; it's easy for me to say. But I'm so fresh out the pit I've yet to throw my yoga pants in the washing machine.

Here's what the enemy doesn't want me to ask you: 
 (I know he doesn't want me to ask you because he's whispering in my ear: 
"Half the people who read will be offended, and the rest will laugh at you!")
How serious are you about getting your miracle?

I don't know what getting serious looks like for you, but, for me, it meant praying even when I didn't want to; when I wasn't sure anyone was listening; when I didn't know what to pray; and when the words I had to pray were mostly angry, disappointed, and hurt. It meant reading the Bible even when I didn't want to and expecting the Lord to reveal His truths to me. It meant being wide open in front of every brother or sister in Christ whom I thought might go to God on my behalf. It meant casting myself into an altar. It meant praying scripture and claiming its promises. It meant being willing to admit I'd been wrong and ask for forgiveness. It meant being willing to submit myself to the Lord by fasting from my computer and certain foods.

And, most importantly, it meant saying to my Heavenly Father: if You deny me after I've gotten this serious, I will know it's in my best interest, and I will have peace. I will love and trust You no matter what.

The enemy wants you to feel helpless, 
but if God be for us, who can be against us?
Whether or not there's a miracle with your name on it, 
maybe it's time for you to get serious. 
If you're ready, I want to stand in the gap. 
Send me an e-mail: normalgirl (at) hotmail (dot) com. 

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