Friday, March 28, 2014

One Last One, for Jason

How about a ride on Monday? I asked.
How about Wednesday? he countered.
I'm flying out to Dallas on Wednesday,
I said. How about Monday? Monday's
my birthday, he said. I know that, I said,
but let's get real. What better thing could
you do on your birthday than take a ride?
He nodded. We'll ride Monday, he said.

And it was that simple, my dream: a little
exchange like a million others; he was
never the person to whom I turned for
deep conversation. He was, however, a
person I expected to be there at my whim
and just the same, thank you, as he'd been
last time, even if years had passed. And he
indulged me (I see that now) out of love.

I didn't expect that losing him would hurt
so much, and I know he didn't expect it,
either, before he died; whatever I said
or did to indicate my affection didn't touch
the depth of it. But I'll tell you what I believe:
I believe he sees and knows, over yonder,
and recognized an opportunity to visit me.
(I was close, having just come off a fast.)

I believe he came through in accordance
to how I perceived him before his passing,
but I see, today: he was deeper and wiser
and just more than I gave him credit for being.
He saw me for what I was (shallow in my
self-importance) and coddled me like a child,
never guessing he'd leave this place so soon
or that, in his absence, I'd know him at last.

**writing with the communities of Poetry Jam and dVerse


  1. a fine testament - I think he knew and understood

  2. Nicely done Brandee.....thanks for sharing your words

  3. i'm sorry for your loss brandee... i too have people in my life that i realized only after they were gone how much they meant to me and how deep they knew me... and welcome at dVerse...smiles

  4. How sad for you that you never appreciated him fully before he died. Good lesson and reminder to the rest of us. Thank you.

  5. First up - welcome to dVerse Brandee, it's fab to see you there.

    This poem reminds me of condicting funerals; people learn so much about the deceased that they never knew - and nearly always it's the good things that people just never talked about. If we could see and speak of other people in life as we do after their deaths, perhaps the world would truly be a better place.

  6. in losing them, we can learn so much of ourselves...and of them as well in all they leave behind...and we def take time for granted as well....always expecting more...well written brandee

  7. This really touches my heart, Brandee. Sometimes I think the last lesson they teach us is in their death.

  8. Death is the constant reminder in each of our lives, that we are mortal; and it never ceases to be a wake up call. One feels for another's loss, but only you can benefit from surmounting your loss; nice job with the prompt.

  9. To loose someone that close ... and afterwards realizing how much more we could have gotten.. a harsh realization about our self.. still we can go on with a baggage of sorrow but on wings of realization.. very sad and touching.

  10. When someone leaves us, there is so much unfinished business we never knew we had. The "someday"s are gone and having never arrived for them here. I'm sorry for your loss. This was a beautiful tribute.

  11. A touching write with a perfect close Brandee. We can learn so much from the unexpected, from things like these. (side note: I saw on your sidebar that you have a son named Cade, I have one too..smiles)

  12. I'm glad you got this on paper...therapeutic in it's rhythm and releasing of emotions...

  13. lovely and from the heart. Thanks for sharing your poem with us.

  14. Wow, what an experience! So tragic that sometimes a person can only be known well after they have died. Unfortunately, I think this happens more often than is realized. It does sound like he and you had a special friendship though, one that can be appreciated.

  15. Beautiful writing, beautiful memories. He must have been a special man.

    Peace <3

  16. Sometimes a person's death resonates with us more than we could have ever imagined and we are haunted by the loss for quite a while. And it is heart-wrenching to realize that we could have had a deeper relationship.

  17. we can't ever let go of the moments of regret...however the fond memories give us power to carry on with our life...

  18. death has a way of making everything seem final but as you know it is not. your poem expresses that beautifully. thank you!

  19. A very lovely heartfelt write. It is hard to have people leave our lives unexpectedly. It's nice you had one last ride. :-)

  20. Loss can teach us the true value of what we can never again have. Lovely write about a very difficult emotional time...

  21. Beautiful and heartfelt, nicely done if with tears.