Wednesday, January 2, 2013

It's a Matter of Trust

I could tell you I didn't blog much, December, because I was looking at gingerbread houses, or building them; visiting family members, friends, and Santa Claus; baking cookies and touring tacky lights; eating doughnuts, pancakes, and Jesus's birthday cake. But the greater truth is: I spent a whole lot of time stroking Baby Chip's feet; they're softer'n a jack rabbit's, almost just as long, and very likely just as lucky.

Only, around here, we believe in blessings over luck.

Christmas Eve, remembering the Christmas Eve before, I cried through what was supposed to be a solo of "O Holy Night." I was too overwhelmed with gratitude to sing any verse, turns out, let alone the second, which--having been advised of imminent miscarriage--I'd deliberately skipped the year before.

But Jesus was, in all my trials, born to be my friend. He did know my need, and he really was no stranger to my weakness. Easy for me to say now, I guess, given the beautiful child I conceived just after miscarrying. But I just can't stop thinking: God was the same, Christmas 2011, as He was Christmas 2012. When my heart was breaking, He was just as good. He could see ahead to November. He could see ahead to Baby Chip.

We spent New Year's Eve at my brother's and sister-in-law's house in East Tennessee. My parents joined us, also my sister-in-law's parents. My brother expressed gratitude that each of us was there, adding rightly: it could've easily been otherwise. (My husband survived gastric bypass surgery in 2012; my older nephew survived a serious, injurious ATV accident; and Baby Chip and I survived an emergency c-section.)

Trouble remains among us, but, on New Year's Eve, we were all together. My sister-in-law's dad Rob--that good preacher who officiated Jim's and my wedding, Cade's baptism, and the girls' dedications--said a few words for Baby Chip, and Jim and I laid hands on our son's soft, warm head and poured out our prayers along with Rob's and the others'. Then Rob led us in Holy Communion, and my sister-in-law's mom Sherry sang "It Is Well with My Soul."

And it is. Well. My word for 2012 was "trust," and I guess I've never been so broken by a year as I was, last. But I love the Lord more than ever, and so much of our (as with every) relationship has always been a matter of trust.

8 Weeks Old

15 comments:

  1. He is so adorable! I loved reading your post. There's nothing like walking THROUGH the valley, and surviving to tell about it!

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  2. Is he ever cute!!! What a smile.

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  3. It's so good to hear from you Brandee...you have been in my thoughts these past few days. {{hugs}} Little Chip is such a bonnie wee boy! I'm SO glad God holds the future in the palm of His Hands. His Ways are not our ways ...the are better because they draw us unto Him.

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  4. love your testimony. true words, every one of them.
    and that baby---absolutely, 100%, adorable :-) but then, you knew that, didn't you? :-)

    steph

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  5. awww...great pic...and you know we go through those years for a reason as well...we dont always know what it is but...eastern tennessee...where were you? we were in bristol...

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    1. My MIL lives in Knoxville. My parents and brother's family live an hour north of Knoxville. :)

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  6. Brandee, I don't know if you have the devotional 'Jesus calling' but I just happened to look ahead for tomorrows devotion and she had you say out loud, "I trust you Jesus". Yes, it is so fitting especially in the light of your previous year. Going into this year with eyes wide open on the 'trust' factor I can't wait to see what God has in store for you this year! Happy New Year, and will you please eat that baby a little for me? Yum!

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  7. Beautiful! What a wonderful family celebration that must have been. So thankful that you are "on the other side" of some of the trials, at least. Blessings to you in this new year, friend.

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  8. Love this post. Happy tears flowed. It was wonderful to spend time with our family.....

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  9. Life is hard for most people most of the time. It's so good to hear someone say they know Jesus is in the good times and the hard times, 'cause he is. That little Chip is such a cutie. Thanks for posting the pic with the post. God is good, all the time.

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  10. O my golly, that baby is adorable. And he looks a lot like Cade, don't you think? Such a nice mix of you and Jim, too - love watching these baby faces morph over time, looking like so many different people in their family tree... thanks for these sweet, reflective words, Brandee - and may 2013 bring many blessings your way.

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  11. Oh, that baby of yours. This is all so beautiful, B.
    And I cried every dang time I heard O Holy Night, too. Favorite. Favorite. Favorite. So many reasons.

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  12. Your words and your baby are beautiful! This was one of my favorite posts (do I always say that?) :) Happy New Year, Brandee!

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  13. Sounds like a perfect way for you to celebrate Christmas this year, Brandee. Who needs gingerbread when you've got a sweet boy like that to love on?

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  14. He is adorable and your words and beautiful and true. Love your honesty. I hope that 2013 brings brighter days.

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