Cut in Half

Baby Chip has his days and nights mixed up, and Mama is tired. I didn't crawl out of bed until 10:30, last Sunday, and there was no getting to church on time.

Clementine was devastated. "We'll have church right here," I told her, "at home." I was rummaging around for Cade's old, comic-book Bible when a conflict ensued between the sisters.

They have tons of baby dolls, but of course, they want daily the same one, the one with the attached pacifier that sticks in its mouth. At this point in the story, each girl was yelling: "My baby!"

"Girls," I said, "come here, and let us tell you what happened when two mommies in the Bible fought over the same baby." So in they ran, and Jim and I introduced Wise King Solomon as the son of David the Giant Killer.

We proceeded to tell them about the two mommies in I Kings 3 (technically prostitutes, but no need to go there, we thought) who laid claim to the same baby. Mommy #2 had rolled over on her baby and killed it (The oldest, known argument against co-sleeping?), said Mommy #1, then switched out the dead baby for the living one. Mommy #2 denied this, so Wise King Solomon called for a servant and told him to cut the baby in two and give half to each mommy. Mommy #2 liked the idea, but Mommy #1 begged the king to give the baby to Mommy #2. That's how Wise King Solomon knew Mommy #1 was the real mommy.

We studied images related to the story, and I suggested we put on a play. I cast Jim as Wise King Solomon, Cade as the servant, Clementine as Mommy #1, and Charleigh as Mommy #2 (since she would have fewer lines than Clementine).

When Cade dangled beloved Pacifier Doll upside-down and raised his other arm as though to slay it with an imaginary sword, both girls--clad in princess dresses--cried simultaneously: "NOOOO!"

I gently reminded Charleigh that she should yell: "Cut the baby in half!" Jim proclaimed Clementine the real mommy, and she extended her arms to receive Pacifier Baby.

The girls forgot to argue over the baby doll for a good, little while after the play. I felt great about our church at home and all of it, really.

Until a few days ago when Cade walked by the feuding sisters, and Charleigh called after him: "Oh, Server! Come cut MeMe [Clementine] in HALF!"