Book Review: Jesus Feminist

So, I just finished reading Sarah Bessey's Jesus Feminist, and I appreciate it so much more than I expected given the particulars of my upbringing, marriage, faith, interpretation of scripture, etc. I'm surprised, also, to have read (devoured, really) the book within twenty-four hours because, well, I just don't tend to do that, these days.

I've visited Bessey's blog but don't follow it regularly, and chances are slim that I would've purchased the book: limited resources, so many other (already-purchased) books to read, and (as this post proves) weariness over the topic of feminism. But my blogger friend Esther Emery sent me a copy, so I decided to give it a whirl.

This is what I like: even though Sarah Bessey and I are in different places, I didn't feel as though she were yelling at me or coming at me angrily or forcefully; in fact, I felt loved by her, and that's important to me. I'm not in the same place as the Jehovah's Witnesses, either, but I feel loved by them; therefore, I invite them in when they come knocking.

Also, I believe that Bessey knows and loves Jesus, and I have no reason to doubt she's on an authentic journey with Him. I enjoyed reading stories from her life: the ones in Chapter Seven, especially, about miscarriage and childbirth. It doesn't offend me that Bessey's marriage is one of mutual submission or that she can sit comfortably under a female preacher. To each her own, in Christ (of course), and in general I think the world would be a better place if we were in hot pursuit of what He wants for us individually instead of insisting we should all be living identically.

In Jesus Feminist, Bessey encourages her readers to really pray and seek the Lord and His plan for their lives, and I like that. She encourages her readers to love as Jesus demonstrates and Paul writes, also to do Kingdom work as we've been called and gifted, and I like that, too. I don't think we can go wrong, doing any of those things, and I feel inspired to do better and more, even if my marriage, church, etc. function differently than Bessey's.

I recommend this book wholeheartedly unless, perhaps, you're easily confused or swayed/tempted from God's plan for your life. I'm not. If someone shares something with me in the right spirit, I can generally (prayerfully!) take from the conversation or resource the things that are helpful/useful to me and let the rest go. My thanks to Esther for sending Jesus Feminist; I'm very glad to have read it.

Thoughts on Feminism

Oh, the ongoing uproar on the subject of feminism.

First, my story: I was raised in a household in which my dad functioned as head. I followed his rules for the most part, and I was motivated to do so because I loved and respected him and didn't want to disappoint him, but also because I didn't want to suffer the consequences of disobeying or embarrassing him: i.e., he had a long, black belt. All of the above is true for the years we were and the years we were not a church-going family.

I've always found myself attracted to men like my dad: broad-shouldered with a commanding presence. My ex-husband doesn't fall into that category at all, and I'd tell you I don't know how I ended up with him, but that would be a lie because, in fact, I do and just don't want to get into it right now. 

At any rate, my ex-husband had been raised primarily by his divorced mother, who was and is a strong and God-fearing woman, and my ex-husband seemed perfectly comfortable and content with the idea of a true and equal partnership between us. 

Problem was, I didn't know how to function within that sort of construct. I couldn't be trusted. I ran amok. He wasn't a saint, either, and our marriage fell apart.

So, now: Jim. Jim is much more like dear old Dad than my ex-husband. I consider him the head of the household, and under his leadership, I walk much more closely with the Lord than ever before. I feel fairly comfortable with the way our marriage works, although we've had to hash a lot of it out, and some of it with a professional. 

Jim holds the purse strings for real and will absolutely put his foot down in other areas, as well, but I can honestly say: I've never come to Jim regarding a Jesus calling that he hasn't backed me 100%. (I take that back: he's still not on board with the idea of our adopting a baby girl from China, but I trust that--if it's a true calling--he'll get there.) One of my favorite things about Jim is his desire to delight me. He reads and supports my writing; he surprised me with my camera and supports all my dabbling in the realm of photography; he supported me through my season of excessive cookie baking; and probably most importantly, he supports my every effort to do God's work.

Now, who's to say how screwed up I am or my marriage is, and why should anyone care, really, so long as I love the Lord and do His work...so long as I love and please the husband God's given me...so long as we're happy together (or working on it)?

And when the rubber meets the road, the feminists and non-feminists alike pluck my nerves because everyone's trying to convince everyone else of something, and I don't give much of a big, fat hairy crap about any of it.

Who am I to say whether or not some chick's been called to preach? I grew up in an Independent Fundamental Missionary Baptist church, and a female preacher works for me to about the same extent as a female gynecologist, which is to say, hello, not at all, but I'll readily admit: 1) I'm probably totally screwed up; 2) I have zero interest in messing with God's anointed; 3) a female preacher may well work beautifully for someone else; and 4) I don't know how to get around Galations 3:28. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. Amen.

Please, Lord, don't ever call me to preach because my sad, little zit of a brain would just pop.

In terms of our marriages, though, Lord have mercy! Why must we feel the need to tell one another how to be married? I say: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths (Proverbs 3:5-6, KJV, again: I told you: Independent Fundamental Missionary Baptist upbringing).

If anyone cares...if anyone's listening...my best advice for your marriage is simply this: make it your God-centered marriage. Get down on your hands and knees. Get up in the Word. Pray. Pray with your spouse! If the Lord's truly calling you to speak into other people's marriages, that's one thing, but be sure. Be careful! I suspect that most of you would do well to concentrate on your own person and your own marriage because...well, because...you're nothing but a hot mess like the rest of us, and you're not changing anyone's mind about anything, anyway.