Prayer Meeting of the Blogosphere (12)

Welcome to the twelfth, old-fashioned prayer meeting of the blogosphere. How are you? I've been sitting here taking inventory, trying to decide how I am, and I'm thinking that--if I'm undecided--I must not be doing all that badly. Ha!

(I used to have this friend at the adult home--Miss Iris, her name was--and every time someone asked her how she was doing, she'd say: "Pretty good, for an old lady." I feel happy, remembering.)

Before I go any further, I want to make a point of thanking you for being here on Fridays. Thank you for agreeing with me in prayer. Thank you for sharing your prayer requests with me.

I'm not going to lie: the prayer-meeting posts are my most unpopular, and I've been tempted to stop writing them. But you know what? This isn't a popularity contest: it's a fellowship of believers! I read back through my prayer-meeting posts, this evening, and several of my prayers have absolutely been answered! Too, these posts fall right in line with my central reason for blogging, which is to record life and faith for my children. Without further ado, then:

Heavenly Father, thank You for hearing us when we pray, and thank You for every answered prayer. You know all the mess I have on my heart; help me leave it at the foot of the cross so as not to let it affect my mood or outlook. I pray the same for my brothers and sisters reading here. Give us the gift of the "big picture." Help us to focus on our many blessings, Lord. You are so good, and we love You so much. In Jesus's name we pray, amen.

Now it's your turn! Would you like to participate in an old-fashioned prayer meeting of the blogosphere? Here are some ideas:

• You can pray about my prayer request.
• You can share a prayer request by means of a comment.
• You can share a prayer request on your personal blog and direct me to your post by means of a comment.
• You can pray about a participant's prayer request.
• You can write a prayer about my, your, or someone else's prayer request (in comments hither or yon, on your blog, etc.). If your prayer is somewhere other than this place, please direct me as you can and  will.
• You can join in praying my or someone else's prayer.
• You can share an update regarding a prayer request you've made here, in the past. 

God bless you, Friends. I hope to see you next week, if not before.

What I Want to Tell Grandma

I thought I was done processing my last visit with Grandma, and maybe I was, but then I made blueberry pancakes for six children, Sunday morning. Five of them gathered happily around the dining room table (although I guess I shouldn't speak for Samwise, who pretty much always gets sandwiched between the little girls), and Chippy ate in the johnny jump-up, bouncing between bites of a dry, blueberry pancake.

An hour or so later, after the choir special, I settled into the pew between Jim and Cade. My stomach commenced to growling loudly, which cracked Cade up but reminded me of Grandma; she used to tell how--when her kids were growing up--she'd come home from church nearly every Sunday with a rip-roaring headache. She said she'd realized many years after the fact (having finally been given some peace and quiet and time to think) that she'd pretty well always skipped breakfast, herself, on Sunday mornings, having been caught up in getting everyone else fed and out the door.

Sitting in church, listening to my stomach, realizing I'd forgotten to eat...I felt so close to her.

When Andrea and I visited, last month, she asked Grandma how many children she had, and Grandma said: "Two. Two was enough. He said two was enough. And that was alright." She had seven children and still does.

Andrea asked: "What are their names?"

Grandma said: "Richard and Mary Ellen." Later, recounting the story to Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Carolyn, we all laughed because--if what Grandma had said were true--none of us would've made it into the world, let alone the room.

The seven-kids thing was the part of Grandma that felt mysterious to me, back before her Alzheimer's and my little kids. I'd try to imagine it and couldn't. It didn't appeal to me at all; I'll tell you that. But somehow, I hit this tipping point after #4. (I was leaning hard after #3.) Extra kids make things seem easier, mysteriously, so I've taken to borrowing them and dreaming of a full-sized van. I feel deeply satisfied, cheerful, when my minivan is crammed full and the log cabin buzzes and rattles with the energy of my children, plus extras. Strangest thing.

I hardly recognize myself, sometimes, and I want to tell Grandma. I want to tell her I understand her better, now, than I ever have: how my proudest moments have become the ones in which Mom says I remind her of Grandma.

I want to thank Grandma for having so many children because #6 is my mom, and #7 (Mary Ellen) has impacted my life like precious few others.

So many things I want to say to Grandma, and no one else will do.

Prayer Meeting of the Blogosphere (11)

Here we are: Week 11 of the old-fashioned meeting of the blogosphere. Welcome! How are you? 

Today, I'd like to offer a prayer for our government and the people of this country. 

Image Credit: Jif









Have I ever told you I was a political-science minor in college? I fulfilled the requirements (I was even president of the College Republicans for awhile!), but I'll be honest: whereas my English classes made every kind of sense to me, my political-science classes always felt just a little over my head, like something wasn't quite clicking.

The situation involving the government shutdown brings those feelings back. As much as I've listened, read, and watched, it all feels just a little over my head. I'm starting to think it makes very little sense to me because it makes very little sense, period. My prayer, then:

Heavenly Father: I lift up to you, first of all, the American people who are suffering because of the government shutdown. I lift up the families of fallen soldiers who have been further, negatively impacted by the government shutdown. I lift up our servicemen whose return home has been delayed, whose Military Commissary has been locked up tight, and whose Chaplains have been made unavailable. I lift up our veterans who've been denied access to memorials erected in their honor. I lift up the business owners who haven't been able to operate because the buildings they lease or the access areas to those buildings rest on government soil. I lift up all the employees losing wages because of this shutdown, including the fishermen who've been denied access to the ocean.

Father, I lift up President Obama. Your Word says there is no power but of You, that the powers that be are ordained of You. I trust, then, that You have a plan involving President Obama. I ask You to draw him ever closer to Your heart: to make him an instrument of Your will. I ask You to bless those of his efforts that line up with Your Word and will lead to the furtherance of Your work.

I lift up to You every, single Congress(wo)man in our Senate and House of Representatives. I know all of them are under a great deal of pressure, right now. I ask You to flood them with Your wisdom. Help them, along with President Obama, to work together and resolve their issues according to Your will for our country.

Father, I know: the wisest among us sees through a glass darkly. Our human minds cannot discern Your truth without the help of Your Holy Spirit. Send this help, then, Father. We love and trust You and pray in Jesus's name, amen.

Image Credit: Greg and Kathleen Michealson

Now it's your turn! Would you like to participate in an old-fashioned prayer meeting of the blogosphere? Here are some ideas:

• You can pray about my prayer request.
• You can share a prayer request by means of a comment.
• You can share a prayer request on your personal blog and direct me to your post by means of a comment.
• You can pray about a participant's prayer request.
• You can write a prayer about my, your, or someone else's prayer request (in comments hither or yon, on your blog, etc.). If your prayer is somewhere other than this place, please direct me as you can and  will.
• You can join in praying my or someone else's prayer.
• You can share an update regarding a prayer request you've made here, in the past. 

God bless you, Friends. I hope to see you next week, if not before.

From the Mother of a Boy Scout

I've been sitting on this post for awhile, and when I say that, I mean not that I've been sitting on it in draft form, but that I've been trying to figure out what I want to say and how I want to say it.

Let me start here: my thirteen-year-old son has been a Scout (first Cub, now Boy) for six years or so. He loves Scouting, and I think it's been good for him. I joke sometimes that--thanks to Scouting--he could probably survive more easily in the wilderness than in our home. 

Some of Cade's fellow Scouts have become his best friends over the years, and let me tell you: I love these boys. So does my husband. So do my little kids. We really know them, too, because they've camped out in our play room over and over, and three of them have vacationed with us at one point or another. They all want to be Eagle Scouts, some day, far as I know. And they're already six years in; I imagine it'll happen.

Cade's dad and I have discussed the Boy Scouts' decision to welcome gay members but have never (for one second) considered pulling Cade out of the program. We're saddened that--because of the policy change--Scouts are being rejected by certain churches. Of course, in our minds' eye, we see the face of our son, the faces of his friends.

I think I'm safe in saying: my husband Jim (Cade's stepdad) and I see from the churches' point of view more easily than does Cade's dad, who grew up Methodist. Jim and I grew up in Baptist (and East Tennessee Baptist, at that) churches, where we heard homosexuality preached against regularly and vehemently. In my experience, life can open a person's eyes, mind, and heart; she can reject some or all of the viewpoint she was offered, first; but she can never unlearn it. She'll never forget that initial position and how/why it works. Even if she no longer agrees with it, she'll have sympathy for those who continue to hold it.

Anyway. At this point, the decision's been made, and we could have a lengthy discussion in terms of whether or not it was the right one. Many churches see the new policy as a means to condone or encourage sin, and I get that. But isn't every Scout a sinner? Every single one?

I know: if my son were to come to me, tomorrow, and tell me he thinks he's gay, I'd be thankful he could still participate in Boy Scouts, where the Oath continues to be:

On my honor, I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my Country and to obey the Scout Law;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight. 

My son and his friends, far as I know, are not gay. I see them--and Boy Scouts, in general--as future leaders in our community; indeed, I see them as future leaders in our country, in our world. My son and his friends did not make the decision in question, and they've long benefited from the support of local churches (one, in particular). 

Churches who struggle with the Boy Scouts' new policy, I ask you: do you intend to stop supporting future leaders because someone who participates in the program, somewhere, is openly gay? And if so, what does that mean, exactly? Does that mean you don't want an openly gay person in your building? And if so, why? Because you perceive him to be a sinner? Aren't we all sinners? Isn't the church supposed to be a place where people draw closer to Jesus?

I'm so thankful the Southern Baptist Convention didn't call for a Boy Scout exodus. I've been a Baptist most all my life; do you see me hanging on? It's by the very skin of my teeth, sometimes. Churches of the SBC, you've been given a choice: to 1) reject the Boy Scouts or 2) "impact as many boys as possible with the life-changing gospel of Jesus Christ.” Won't you choose the latter?

If not, I'm curious: have you withdrawn your support of our military because they welcome openly gay service(wo)men? If you're a veteran, have you (in shame) stopped admitting it because someone who serves this country is gay? If you have a loved one in the military, have you closed your doors to him or her because someone who serves this country is gay? And speaking of that gay someone: aren't you thankful that (s)he stands on the line for you? Would you refuse him or her entrance to your church? I guess I fail to see how this situation with the Scouts is so different.

Tonight, my dear, conservative husband leaned toward me and said: "I think I'm coming your way a little. I'm starting to see this, with the Scouts, as an opportunity to minister to someone who's never stepped inside a church before." My heart swelled; my tears welled; I sat down to write this post.

Who is this Jesus you serve? Do you doubt for one moment that He would sit down with a gay Boy Scout?

Having a Time

image by crilleb50

He didn't look up as I approached but slid over, making room for me on the bench. I caught a whiff of Eternity.

"I can tell you're having a time," I said, "and I am, too. My renters are late, again, and my older son has a 'D' in science. The baby's teething and keeping me up at night. My toddlers are, you know: toddlers, and no offense, but my husband is, you know: a man. I'm worried about my brother and a half dozen other people. I guess you could say I'm just flat-out overwhelmed."

I took a deep breath and asked: "What about you? Why are you having a time?"

"Because you're here," he sighed, "talking my head off. Interrupting the time of my life."

It's been a while since I've linked up at The Mag, but when I saw the image above, I felt like I had a story to tell. I wanted to remind myself, really, to refrain from interrupting others' peace with my bellyaching.

In tricky seasons, it doesn't hurt to tap into my creative self. As you can see (below), I was blessed to incorporate photography (along with creative writing) into my weekend. I like to give Jim a hard time, but he and the children are all generally very patient and supportive. I photographed a family of eight (or ten, depending upon how you look at it), yesterday, and Jim--after tying a ladder (that I didn't use) to the roof of the minivan--played with the little kids while I snapped away and Cade trailed behind carrying props (that I didn't, for the most part, use). I give thanks for my family. The photos below were all taken today, at home.

Prayer Meeting of the Blogosphere (10)

Hello, and welcome to the tenth, old-fashioned prayer meeting of the blogosphere. I can hardly believe it's Friday, again...or October! But I love the evidence of autumn: every slightly chilly morning, every ripe pumpkin, every brilliantly-colored leaf. I find myself wanting to roll down my window and drive an unfamiliar road. I did just that, the other day, and came upon this beautiful, old church with autumn wreaths on its doors:

Jim's and my small group has been studying Romans for some time. This past week, we looked at Romans 11-12, and the end of Chapter 12 really stood out to me. More specifically, it ministered to me.

If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good (Romans 12:18-21, KJV).

I know I'm not alone in feeling at a loss, sometimes, regarding political and religious discussions. So often, I don't see issues as black and white. I can recognize good arguments on both sides. I don't believe that--just because someone doesn't agree with me--his or her profession of faith is insincere. (Hasn't every Christ follower been confused, misguided, or mistaken at one point or another?) I think very differently about certain things than I did ten or twenty years ago, and I'm not 100% sure when I was closer to the truth!

I'm comforted by the verses above because they remind me: God's got this. He's got this messy world with its complicated and opposing viewpoints. Vengeance is His. He calls me to live as peaceably as possible with others. My prayer for this week:

Father God, sometimes I feel exhausted by the bitter arguments of politics and religion. Help me to discern Your truth. Help me to know where to stand, and when, and how. Bless in the same respect those who read here. Draw us closer to Your heart; give us Your eyes. Grow us in patience toward one another, and help us to overcome evil with good. In Your Son's name I pray, amen.

Now it's your turn! Would you like to participate in an old-fashioned prayer meeting of the blogosphere? Here are some ideas:

• You can pray about my prayer request.
• You can share a prayer request by means of a comment.
• You can share a prayer request on your personal blog and direct me to your post by means of a comment.
• You can pray about a participant's prayer request.
• You can write a prayer about my, your, or someone else's prayer request (in comments hither or yon, on your blog, etc.). If your prayer is somewhere other than this place, please direct me as you can and  will.
• You can join in praying my or someone else's prayer.
• You can share an update regarding a prayer request you've made here, in the past. 

Thank you again for being here. It matters that you're here! I hope to see you next week, if not before.

What God Hath Joined

I think we've known since the moment we were pronounced: no going back. What [...] God hath joined together, let not [wo]man put asunder, and we know He joined. We can never doubt His joining; we prayed for God's blessing and watched His swinging wide the doors to our union. 

God went to a good bit of trouble just to get Jim and I in the same state. Even in the hardest, most challenging times, we haven't been able to forget the miracle of it: how--in no time flat--God made possible the nearly impossible. At points it would've been easier to doubt, but we've never been able to doubt: God joined.

As people who love God, then, and cannot doubt His joining; as people who love one another; as people who love our children...quitting has never been an option. The only option has been to live (ever after) happily, unhappily, or somewhere between.

One would expect love to make happiness easy to come by; it doesn't, necessarily. One would expect persistent unhappiness to be born of some huge infraction (addiction, adultery); it isn't, necessarily. So many ways to sin against one another, and "little sins" can accumulate and become fertile ground for resentment: a sin that leads to even more sin. Nothing snow balls like sin. I'm not telling you anything you don't know.

Jim and I spent six sessions with a counselor, but (long story short) our insurance company paid for the second half of the sessions only upon our appeal. We haven't yet found the will to switch to a counselor approved by our insurance company.

In the meantime, we've made halfhearted attempts to follow the reflective-listening process our counselor taught us, and interestingly, we've experienced a bit of a breakthrough. (Pity it took so long; I blame our lackadaisy.) It happened because Jim said: "Your hurt doesn't come across as hurt. It comes across as anger, and I go immediately on the defensive." It happened, too, because I was in the right spirit to receive those words. (I give the Lord credit for all of it.)

As I considered Jim's words, I knew he was right. Not only does my hurt come across as anger, but many of my negative feelings (disappointment, fear, frustration, etc.) come across as anger. The anger is real enough; I become angry that I'm hurt, disappointed, fearful, frustrated, etc. But all Jim can perceive is anger, and--because he doesn't think anger is warranted, and/or because he's unwilling to help me with a problem when I'm angry--the problems persist or even grow.

I've been shooting myself in the foot for so long.

In case you're wondering why in the world I'm writing/posting this, I mean only to encourage. I'm not trying to make my story yours. (Only you know where you are, and why, and how God is leading you.) I'm just sharing: inside of my own marriage, love hasn't made happiness easy to come by; yet, I don't think hard always means wrong or not worth saving. Also, even recently, I've thought: we will never get past ___. But then (like that old cliche about its being darkest right before dawn) we've gotten past, like, four ___s, and all at once.

I love him. For the first time, I'm taking seriously the spirit with which I approach him. It's helping.

Photo by Heather Causey