When Santa Sat in My Section

Jim's concerns were broader than mine when it became necessary for me to start working nights; I fretted only in anticipation of missing Cade (who attends school during the day) and certain nighttime events, especially holiday ones. I prayed about these concerns and tried my best to trust that whatever was meant to work out, would.

Halloween rolled around, first, and I love halloween. One year when Cade was small, I taught a composition class three times in order to accommodate all the students in a class I'd cancelled: a class I'd been scheduled to teach on halloween night. It was worth it, too, to take Cade trick-or-treating.

I tried to get halloween off, this year, but got scheduled to work. Rachel suggested that we trick-or-treat with her family (and many others from our small group) at Bethpage Camp-Resort the Saturday before halloween, and upon hire at the restaurant, I had requested that night off...but only because I'd been paid generously to take some family photos. To further complicate matters, I was hoping to catch Cade's band performance (which I hadn't yet seen) at the Fall Classic.

In the end (and I can still scarcely believe it all worked out), the family asked to be photographed in the morning as opposed to the oft-requested afternoon; Jim, the little kids, and I enjoyed Bethpage to the fullest; and I made it to the late (10 pm) band performance.

I worked halloween night joyfully and met a customer for whom I pray often. He's an older gentleman and was alone on a slow night, so I did a rare thing: I sat down with him. He told me his wife had just died.

Next, Thanksgiving. Travel was impossible given that I had to work the days before and after, but the restaurant was closed, Thanksgiving day, and Cade and I spent hours hiking together.

After all this, I wish I could tell you I had no trepidation about Christmas, but I wondered about Christmas eve; I did. The restaurant is closed on Christmas day, but Cade spends Christmas day with his dad, Christmas eve with me. This is how we all prefer it; Cade's other family has a big meal on Christmas day, while this family attends candlelight service on Christmas eve. Amazingly, management granted not only my request to have Christmas eve off, but also lunch, today, to attend Jesus's birthday party at church.

Friday night, I walked into my section at work only to realize that Santa and Mrs. Claus were seated in one of my booths. When I introduced myself, Santa said: "I already know your name. And furthermore, I know you've been a very good girl this year." I burst into tears right there at the table.

Later, I said to a friend: "I was way too emotionally disregulated to serve Santa Claus!"

He shook his head, laughed, and said: "You were the perfect person! No one else would've cared as much as you. You got the full effect of what he was trying to do. I think it's awesome!" And, yes. Awesome. Because there's something no one--neither Santa nor my friend--knew.

My recent prayers have included my asking God to help me trust Him with my little-girl self, and I received Santa's visit as a response, from God, to that prayer. It was as if God were saying: I hear you (all of you, including the little-girl you), and I care about you, and I care very much about your Christmas. I couldn't wonder if God had sent Santa for my children because my children weren't present. I was alone. But I am never alone.

The further I journey, the more fully I believe that a relationship with God is just that: a relationship. It requires faith on my part (and sometimes, the suspension of disbelief). It requires my seeking with expectancy. I could chalk everything I've just shared and more! up to coincidence, luck, serendipity, fortune, or---I don't know--an alien spark? But I find it so much more thrilling to believe I am blessed...that God is using all things to my good: even (especially?) the hard things. Because if that's true, I have nothing to fear and everything to anticipate with joy. Bad is good if He is with me, and He is. His very name tells it. He is Immanuel.

The front of the card Santa left me.

The back of the card Santa left me.

Memorial Day 2014

We remember those who have died in service to our country

and express our deepest gratitude to their loved ones left behind.

Culminations. Ruminations.

I was sick as a dog, Saturday, but Charleigh had been working toward that trophy since September. What's a mama to do but buck up, Little Camper? And I'm so glad I did.

The Kindercise program in which Charleigh is enrolled is evidently the oldest of its kind in the nation. It's a well-oiled machine; I'll tell you that. Charleigh attends class during the week, and I don't think I've ever seen her class exceed, say, six kids. Three or four is typical, and their teacher Miss Olga leads them, together, from station to station during their hour-long class.

It's been fun to watch Charleigh progress in her jumping, rolling, climbing, hanging, swinging, balancing, etc. At the start of the year, she couldn't move into a headstand (against a mat) by herself; now, she can.

The hour-long awards ceremony was set up much like class in that the children moved from station to station to demonstrate their skills. Every child was occupied at pretty much all times: brilliant! The last fifteen minutes were dedicated to awards, and every child had his or her moment on the podium. The smile on Charleigh's face says it all; doesn't it?

Miss Olga and Charleigh

Meanwhile, Clementine is working toward her dance recital. She has one practice left before dress rehearsal. Here's a photo of her class, Monday night; hopefully, I'll have recital photos, soon.

Clementine is in the back, on the far left.

Last night, Clementine, Charleigh, and I attended Cade's spring concert. He plays bass clarinet. I take my camera to every concert, but at this point, I have no idea why. I can see Cade walk in and out, but after he sits, I really can't see what he's doing, at all.

Having said that, the 8th-grade band sounded great. Cade said they earned a superior rating and third place when they played at Busch Gardens last week. He decided recently to participate in the high-school marching band, next year. As a former band kid who's heard only the very best things about the high-school band, I couldn't be more thrilled.

But the other thing I want to tell you about last night is that--after the concert, as the girls are I were walking down the hall to leave--I ran into a friend. "Did you have a sister here, tonight?" she asked. "I saw you sitting with someone who looks a lot like you."

"Oh!" I said. "That was Cade's stepmother!" And I could tell I caught her off guard, but what she doesn't know is this: the moment of her question was, hands-down, the best moment of my week, so far.

Imagine what she saw: two dark-haired, glasses-wearing women sitting side-by-side in the audience, nudging one another...laughing, chatting, even whispering! like sisters. My little girls were sitting beside Tabitha: between her, actually, and a man: Cade's dad Jason, my ex-husband. None of it was contrived or for show; we are family.

This is an important part of my story. This is doing divorce well. (And for the record, at any given moment, we're far from the only ones doing it.) This is about redemption. This is the work of the Lord. He's so, so much bigger than every statistic and every stereotype.

Unblogged Happiness: April Edition, Pt. 2

The following photos were all taken in East Tennessee (at either Jim's mama's or my parents') during the second half of April.

Naptime at Mamaw's

My Sister-in-Law Jill, Dying Eggs with the Kids

Obviously, my shutter speed wasn't what it should've been, but I love the delight on Clementine's face. We were making Empty Tomb cookies.*

Jim's mama with her grandbabies, all dressed for the church service we had right there in the living room. Chip was being pretty uncooperative, so we handed him a bag of jelly beans and told the others not to look at him :)

Easter Egg Hunt

My beautiful niece Adalynn Grace, sleeping in her mamaw's bed. This is my favorite photo from all of April.

Such a sweet moment: playing jack-in-the-box with Jim's mama.

Daddy's Girl

I had my photo taken on this swing the day Jim and I got married.

Pretty Boy (The hens are named Carla, Charla, Darla, Marla, and Starla.)

He'd taken quite the tumble the day before: down only one step, but the fine gravel at the bottom took a toll. He's looking much better, now.

Mom e-mailed me this photo that one of her friends took with her phone. She had a fancy tea party with the girls while Jim and I were in Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg. LOVE my mom.

*Empty Tomb cookies are cookies with a story (that of Jesus's death and resurrection) that include only a few ingredients and taste good. The little girls seemed to really enjoy making them. Click here for the recipe/instructions we followed.

Unblogged Happiness: April Edition, Pt. 1

04/01 - Spring day (at last!) at Midlothian Mines.

We were happy that it was a non-poisonous baby and that we didn't step on it!

04/02 - Picnic and play at Camp Huff. (How many kids can you count? I count 8 aside from both woman and dog.)

I have photo after photo of his following her. She stayed, always, a little ahead. He finally gave up. Poor Chip.

04/05 - Celebrating my brother's 37th birthday...and his wellness. Thank You, Lord.

04/08 - My favorite bunny in all the world.

04/09 - Eating marshmallows straight out the bag. Sometimes everyday happiness is very happiest.

04/10 - An outfit she chose herself. Alice in Wonderland socks :)

04/12 - Busch Gardens Williamsburg.

Charleigh's expression: so funny!

Look what Daddy won!

04/13 - Hunting eggs and celebrating Rachel's birthday with our small group and other friends.

Cole

Lexi

Jackson and Joellen

Our Beautiful Hostess / Birthday Girl

Ava and Charleigh

April was, obviously, a beautifully busy month. We were thrilled to return to the great outdoors, and I struggled in recording my thoughts (and photos). This post has gotten ridiculously long, so I'll post the rest of my unblogged, April photos separately.